The Comments Section

I've got two rules I've been trying to follow lately:

Don't read the comments.
Don't comment on the comments.

Generally, I break this rule about once a month. Every so often, I get sucked down the rabbit hole and can't help myself.

I used to thoroughly enjoy social media. There are still certain aspects of it that I value. I get to stay in contact with my friends who have scattered across the country and the world. I get to see all of the cool things that they are doing, their lovely and funny children, their work and creative endeavors. But, in the last two years, the Facebook experience, especially, has become deeply fraught.

I am not at all trying to pretend that I'm innocent here. I have many times found myself caught up in the negative energy that social media so easily stirs. I've argued with friends and family members in the online world. I know for a fact that a few of the things I've shared on Facebook caused one family member and a few childhood friends to delete me because we didn't see eye to eye. The problem that I eventually realized with all of this is that trying to engage in debate in the online world is never the same as engaging in debate in person. I know for a fact that I could have had a more civilized conversation with most of those people face to face. We often end up speaking into the void or preaching to the choir. And so often, people, myself included, just resort to sarcasm and 140-character one-liners rather than listening to the other person and trying to understand where they are coming from.

It's not that I don't still see myself as a political person. I just think it's more valuable for me to discuss things with people one on one. And moreover, why do I even care if the person I haven't seen in ten years whose wife I used to work with agrees with me or not? It's just too much psychological energy that could be better used in other ways.

I listened to a podcast this morning that said if you want to make change in the world, you have to do the little things. Like, for example, if you want a tidier home, you should start by making your bed. This resonated with me. If I want to change my online landscape, I need to change myself first. I've been trying.

But damn, sometimes it's hard. Until next time, Jess